Essence: What is my place in relationships?What is my place within the family?
This is the key question for
Magnesium. The relationship has just been formed (in the
Natrium stage) and now it is very important to find a proper balance within this relationship. It is the age old theme of defining your territory: how can I maintain my self and my own interests and how can I make the relationship work at the same time?
Uncertain in relationshipsThey still feel rather uncertain about it all. They don’t quite trust the durability: how can they be sure that won’t all be over soon? The other person might get fed up and leave, or even die at any moment. They feel they deserve to have a family, but they feel very vulnerable and dependent on this relationship.
Adapting in order to receive loveThey are afraid of making too many demands on the other person in case he will leave. So they start to mould themselves to the other person’s wishes. They daren’t stand up for themselves or get angry, instead becoming completely passive to try and hold on to the other person’s love.
Fear of being criticisedTheir fear of being rejected also expresses itself in a fear of being criticised. They are particularly afraid of other people’s anger, because they associate this with a break up of their relationship. They feel that even the slightest hint of aggression might cause such a break up, so they feel a relationship can only survive if there is no anger or aggression whatsoever. The fear that their newly formed relationship will break apart again makes them passive: they will not tell the other person what they really want or feel.
Passivity leads to love: pacifismThe avoidance of all forms of aggression might be raised to an ideal in life. They will see aggression as the root of evil in the world and they have to avoid this at all costs. So they join the pacifist movement.
Criticising others: aggressionOn the other hand they also feel they haven’t fought for and defined their own space yet. They insist on establishing their own space, even if it means becoming aggressive. Or they may get aggressive out of sheer frustration, where they feel they have had to keep down their own feelings for such a long time that they can’t hold them in any longer. The relationship between aggression and territorial behaviour has been beautifully described by Lorenz. He explains the difference between aggression within the group and aggression in order to get food or to survive. He says the real aggression is the one we see between members of the same species who want to define their own territory and it is not usually a lethal sort of aggression.
Uncertain about love or hateThe imbalance in the relationship can lead to alternating feelings of love and hate. They feel they have to stay together, but can’t seem to find a proper balance. They remain unsure about their own position within the relationship and therefore feel they constantly have to keep fighting for it.
Excluded from relationshipsThere may come a time when the relationship really does break up. Then they feel abandoned, unloved and neglected. This would be a typical situation of an orphan, a stepchild or an unwanted child.
MindFears: aggression !!, criticism, abandoned, disease, death of loved ones.
Dreams: falling, dead relatives, marriage, parties, exhaustion, abandoned by relatives, water, children.
Mood: feeling forsaken, suppressing emotions.
Aggression: open or suppressed.
Desires: star patterns on clothes or earrings (Hug 1994).
GeneralsLocality: right.
Weather: cold, < cold, > heat !!.
Perspiration: stains the linen.
Time: < 7 am !!, periodical complaints.
Desires: meat, fruit, fresh, raw, fried, sweet, vegetables, cauliflower (Sankaran 1993).
Aversion: cooked food, meat, vegetables.
Food: < sweet, fat.
Menses: < night; dark blood; stains the linen.
Sleep: wakes up unrefreshed.
Physical: > pressure, > bending double, < touch.
BodySpasms, cramps, colics, tetanus. Constriction of brain stem.
Delirium tremens. neuralgias.
Colds and allergies.
Hyperthyroidism.
Vascular spasms, Raynaud’s. Heart problems, infarcts, fibrillations.
Stomach pains, acidity. Liver and gallbladder problems !!.
Diarrhoea.
Prostate problems. Toxicosis, eclampsia.
Problems with muscles, teeth and nails. Osteoporosis.
Skin: gangrene, necrosis, emphysema; fevers (Dreisbach, page 245).
DD:
Silicon series,
Stage 2,
Causticum, Cicuta, Colocynth, Cuprum, Staphysagria.
DD Natrium:
Natrium tends to give up when a relationship isn’t going as it should.
Magnesium is much more persevering: he does everything to keep it going, even suppressing his own aggression, as he can’t bear to let the relationship break up.