Essence: confusion about who he is and who the other person is.
Confusion within the relationship; confusion about roles
They feel they have managed to find their own place and they deserve to have this place, but there are still several points that aren’t clear to them. They wonder whether they really want this relationship. They also wonder how to proceed. How much of themselves should they give to this relationship? What is left of them since they have given themselves to this relationship?
Confusion about identity within the relationshipThey are confused about their own position in relation to the other person. They know they are in a relationship but they don’t know where their own identity and responsibility end and the other person’s begins. They ask themselves questions like: ‘Was it really me who did this?’ or ‘Am I being myself at the moment?’ This is the well known rubric‘Confusion about identity’. Another typical symptom is that they don’t recognise themselves when they look in the mirror. They look at themselves in surprise and think: ‘Is that really me?’ The confusion about where they end and the other person begins is sometimes so strong that it stops them from taking responsibility for their own actions.
Doubt whether it is their own will or the will of the group
Out of a desire to belong to the group they often do whatever the other person wants, thereby ignoring their own wishes. They carry out a task as requested by a family member or a peer group and later on they discover that it was probably not such a good idea. They feel uncomfortable about it and start to ask themselves whether it was really them who carried out this request: ‘After all it was the group who asked them to do this, so isn’t it the groups responsibility?’ We find this in the repertory under the rubrics ‘Delusion other speaks’, ‘Delusion other hears’, ‘Delusion consciousness belongs to another’, ‘Delusion head belongs to another’ and ‘Errors about identity’.
It is a very important remedy for people who did wrong during the war, who did things that did not agree with their own morals, but ’Befehl ist befehl’; also for people who spend their life thinking they have committed a crime.
These people might talk about themselves in an impersonal way, as if they are talking about someone else, using the words ‘you’ or ‘one’ instead of ‘I’.
Doubt about which relationship to choose: triangles.They doubt whether they have chosen the right partner or the right relationship. They keep on searching to try and find out whether another relationship wouldn’t be more suitable. This creates complicated triangular relationships with all the confusion and doubt that goes with these. Who should they choose? Whose ideas should they follow? Should they listen to their boss or to their colleague? Should they choose for their wife or for their sister. They can never make up their minds, always afraid to make the wrong choice and regret it later.
Doubt from the other person in the relationship
All this wavering and hesitation eventually makes their partner unsure about the whole relationship too. The partner thought that a commitment had been made but now it all looks very unstable and he doesn’t know what to think of it anymore.
Doubt whether they belong to the family
A similar doubt may exist with regard to the family. They know they are part of the family but they don’t really feel at ease, as if they can’t really be themselves, as if they have to give part of themselves away for the sake of the whole group.
This theme may emerge within a very strict or religious family, where everybody has to obey the rules. Or we may see it in religious sects where there is a strong regime of discipline and obedience to authority. Nobody can be themselves, they have to do as they are told. A similar situation exists in the army, where they are forced to do things they would never dream of doing themselves.
MindFears: knives, blood, insanity, own impulses.
Mood: timid, adapting, complaining, moaning, hurried, slow to act and speak, depressed, suicidal.
Delusions: time going too fast, parts of body belong to someone else, being a criminal, insanity, having no friends, ghosts, killing, marriage, mistake about own identity << looking in the mirror.
Aggression: impulsively aggressive << seeing knives or blood.
Mental: absent minded, confused, doubting, overwhelmed, as if in a fog, wandering, being lost, mistakes and faults, dementia.
Causes: executing other peoples’ commands, loss of relations, << being hurried or pushed.
GeneralsWeather: < dry, > damp.
Perspiration: little or none.
Time: < 9 am; < winter; night people.
Desire: dry food, rice, starch, coffee.
Aversion: meat, beer.
Food: < potatoes, milk, artificial food, warm drinks, < tobacco.
Menses: too early, short, little, pale; tiredness afterwards.
Sleep: < waking.
Physical: -> lying down, < coitus.
BodyFeeling of numbness and cobwebs. Constriction.
Discharges little, watery, acrid.
Dryness.
Paralysis !!, ascending.
Vertigo < closing eyes, tendency to fall forwards.
Liver. Pancreas.
Constipation !!, hard, dry stools, no urging or frequent urging.
Stools have to be removed by artificial means.
Testes, ovaries. Leucorrhoea.
Kidneys.
Muscles.
Skin eruptions, itching < heat; dry and rough skin with cracks, itches until it bleeds.
DD:
Boron:These remedies may appear very similar, as both have ‘Confusion about identity’.
Boron has a similar sort of confusion with regard to himself. But his confusion is more to do with his own personality. He asks himself: ’Who am I? Am I worth anything?’
Alumina has more confusion about himself in relation to the other person: ‘Did I really do this myself, or did the other person do it?’
DD Magnesium: feels more abandoned, has to fight more to keep the relationship going.
Aluminium knows he can have the relationship but he feels he has to sacrifice too much of himself.