1 EssenceThis personality has to incorporate the rules and norms of the community and society. When this process is forced, one has to suppress oneself. It is a conflict between authenticity and conformity. In early years it is a conflict between authenticity and safety, as a child has to adapt to his parents to survive. The conflict gets bigger when the norms have lost contact with their inner reality, when they become forms without content. Underlying is the fear of rejection.
This can lead to suppression of oneself and taking on a personality that incorporates the rules. The form becomes more important than the self. Arno Gruen calls this the Basic Lie in his book “The Insanity of Normality”. The result is that the real self gets suppressed and one gets the feeling there is something wrong with oneself, that one is not good enough. It gives the feeling of being guilty and bad. One gets disconnected from the inner self, from feelings and conscience, from responsibility and love. It is a strong dissociation. One is dissociated from one’s own being, one’s own core. One loses oneself in the socialisation process. One gets distorted in the normalisation process.
NormopathyProblems arise when the norms and rules become more important than life, when one is not allowed to be oneself anymore. One has to follow norms, forms, codes, rules, routines, duties, obligations, and commands. And one has to follow them regardless of whether they make sense or not, regardless if they are detrimental for one's well being or not. The norms become a disease: Normopathy. The Normopathy originates from being forced, forced by parents, teachers, directors, generals, kings, and so on.
- One has to fit into the pattern, grid, harness.
- Indoctrination by being forced, drilled, bullied, laughed at, ridiculed, rejected, ostracised, humiliated, mocked, derided.
- Assimilation of norms by imitation, entanglement, soft pressure, seduction, praise, being bought.
- As a last resort, one is forced by violence and torture.
- Ailments from socialisation, normalisation, civilisation.
- Ailments from domestication, in animals, by yokes, harness, saddles, grids, reins.
2 Forces of Normalisation
FamilyThe forcing often comes from a strict and narrow upbringing. Their parents had very fixed rules, where discussion was not possible. Parents gave answers like "because I say so", or "your will is rubbish". Parents were not listening to them. They just had to obey. Parents could let babies cry for hours, thinking they would get spoiled when one goes to them, giving them care, warmth and attention. This kind of education was promoted very much by psychologists like Spock. One step further and this kind of education is enforced with physical violence.
In their youth there was a lack of emotional exchange. They often felt very alone, having to handle their emotions on their own. Their family felt like islands in a sea, where there was no real contact. Even when the parents were loving in the background and caring physically well, they felt no appreciation for who they were. They felt unsupported in their individuality, in their personal and emotional development.
Ailments from being a burden for the parents, unwanted, rejected, beaten, tormented, ridiculed, abused by their parents or siblings.
SchoolAdaptation and incorporation of norms and rules happens at school. The rules are, and even more were, very strict and harsh, especially in institutions like boarding school. There often is no room for emotional problems at school. One just had to learn the rules, the rules of correct behaviour. One has to stay silent, just sitting, even when the lessons are boring and lack any meaning for life. Originally schools were established to prepare young people for factories with their strict rules and time schedules.
- Aversion to school, their boring and senseless rules and subjects.
- Desire for school, fitting in very well.
- Indoctrinated by teachers, classmates, boarding school.
- Ailments from cold institutions, boarding school, hospitalisations.
MilitaryThe ultimate form of fitting into patterns is the military. The most important thing one has to learn as a soldier is to obey. That means obeying without questioning, without even thinking about alternatives. One has no say about what has to be done. One just has to do what is commanded, also when it is in grave contradiction with one’s own conscience. One is drilled so much that any own will and thinking has been suppressed. One is reduced to a killing machine.
WorkRules and order are even more needed for work. One has to obey the manager and director, one has to keep the time. Their parents often had good intentions in their strict education. They wanted to prepare their children for society, the community, in order to have a good life later with a good income.
Indoctrinated by profession, media, directors, managers, police, clubs, associations.
- Ailments from monotonous, repetitive work, assembly lines, machine, robot, or zombie work.
3 Aspects of Normalisation
Obedience HierarchyAn important, core aspect is that this personality feels small and weak. They can be like a child in relation to their parents, like a pupil in relation to their teachers, like a workman in relation to their boss, or like a citizen in relation to the government, police and military, or as a patient in relation to doctors. They feel that they lack the power to be themselves. They think they have to obey in order to be accepted, to be part of the community, to belong to the group. There is a strong aspect of hierarchy. The circumstance and other people are so powerful than there is no other option than to obey.
Suppressing one's thoughts, emotions and goals, oneself.
- Obedience, adapting, accepting, docile, collaboration, succumbing.
- Following the leader, parents, relatives, teachers, doctors, priests, police, military, government.
- Meek, not questioning the system, culture, or hierarchy.
- Silent majority.
- Becoming a subject, subordinate, impersonal.
- Pathology of adaptation to avoid the pain of inner chaos.
- Reality politics, with lack of empathy, totalitarianism.
- Fan of the royal family.
- Racial dominance.
Denial of the selfThey have to suppress their own feelings and goals in order not to be rejected. Especially when they are young, they have to suppress their feeling when they are forced. As a child one has to suppress one's anger when beaten by one's father. Behind that is the fear of being rejected and sent away and so losing their safety. It is the clash between authenticity and adaptation, as Gabor Maté describes it. Arno Gruen describes it as the betrayal of the self, the Basic Lie.
Basic lie: cut off from the inner self.
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Self-denial, self-contempt, self-hate, self-amputation, self-betrayal.
- Suppressing oneself from fear of being judged, criticised, punished, rejected.
DestructionThe denial of the self can become so strong that it turns into self-hate. The self-hate is unbearable and has to be suppressed, but then comes out in destructive thoughts and action projected onto the world.
A clear example of this is honour killing, where a member of a group has to be murdered because she did not follow the rules and norms of the clan.
Dissociation HiddenThe denial of the self leads to a suppression of the inner world. This makes that the problem gets hidden, the patient himself does not know the source of this problems anymore. That makes it difficult for therapists to see the real problem. The example of the a case of
Lepisorus macrosphaerus can clarify this. The patient had a struggle with his wife about sexuality. He had the opinion that she had to be sexually receptive for him as she was his possession after being married. Here we see the rigidity of ideas. But what is behind, is not seen. He felt unloved due to an unloving childhood. He tries to feel loved and uses sex for that.
- Disconnected, dissociation, estrangement.
- Locked inside themselves.
4 Consequences of Normalisation
Lifeless emptyBecause of the suppression of the self they become empty. The suppression of their own emotions and feelings, their own goals and desires, their own thoughts and life visions makes life to become lifeless, without emotions. Life becomes grey and flat. One becomes dissociated from oneself.
- Feeling lifeless, numb, empty, flat, grey, apathetic, disinterested.
- Lack of life, emotions, creativity, vision, reflection.
- Lack of happiness, joy, liveliness, pleasure, playfulness, spontaneity, empathy.
- Lack of individuality, aspirations, ambitions, curiosity, regret, consciousness, guilt.
- Colourless, grey; dreams colourless.
- Living vegetatively, feeling amputated.
- Seeing people, animals and plants as lifeless, machines, robots.
- Treating people and machines as machines, slaves, who do the dirty work.
- Inner chaos, from loss of contact with one's core, one's self.
- Split identity, emptiness that must be filled with a pseudo-identity.
- Lethargic, loathing life.
- Denying: authenticity, spirituality, self.
Facade or normalThe suppression of the self leads to a life according to the norms. They live with a facade. Their inner world is hidden, consciously or unconsciously. They give the impression of being impersonal, unreal, fake, false. There is just form, no content. There is only outside, no inside. The more this happened from early childhood traumas the more it is suppressed and has become unconscious and the more one behaves as wanted, but unwittingly, unknowingly. They behave as is expected from them, or as they think is expected from them.
This facade of being normal is very well expressed by Jörg Wichmann where he notes the expressions of the Lycopodium personality. Within four minutes the patient says nine times “naturally” and five times “that is obvious”. Other expressions used are: “this is the only way”, “I am obliged to”, “embarrassing to show this in public, isn‘t it”, “this is very often the case“, “this was often the case”, “all men have this kind of problem”, “everyone suffers from this”. These utterances and many others all express the need to be as normal as possible, better said to present oneself as normal as possible.
There is no real contact, only small talk. They want to be normal, to be seen as normal. They don't want to be outstanding, to be distinguished from the environment. But they can be very good in gossiping where they confirm the norms, by judging and condemning abnormalities and deviations, anomalies and discrepancies. They control their ideas by being closed and silent. They prefer to be normal as everyone else in order to avoid criticism and being shamed.
A typical expression is uniforms. One is recognised and acknowledged by the outside and not by the inside. The outside has gained predominance. The form is more important than the content.
- Secretive, hiding, from shame, guilt, fear of criticism, rejection, punishment.
- Silent, taciturn, unable to express oneself.
- Conventional, conformism.
- Locked in oneself, as defence.
- Fear of being judged when others will see what they feel and think inside.
- Irresponsible, unaccountable.
- Ignoring pain, hurt, depression, sadness, to be able not to show them.
- Blackmail, intrigues, gossip.
- Hypocrisy, fake, false, unreal feelings, self-pity.
- Difficulty in letting things go out, in mind, stool, bladder.
5 Expressions of Normalisation
ContactA consequence of the loss of the inner self is that they do not know how to make contact. They do not know anymore what is good or bad, what is healthy or disease. And they fear they will be criticised when saying something strange, incorrect or woke. That makes them often clumsy and awkward in contact with others. As they don’t understand their own emotions, they don’t understand those of others. This leads to autistic character traits. So they prefer the contact with close ones like parents and friends above strangers. In extreme cases children stop speaking at all, sometimes even when they understand what their parents are saying.
Marriage can be difficult, because they don’t know how to make contact. Arranged marriage is an option then. So marrying a simple person is the best option.
- They retire into their own space.
- Lack of speech, reaction, eye-contact.
- Lack of contact and play with others, other children.
- Aversion or desire for cuddling, hugging, kissing.
- Lack of empathy, sympathy with others and oneself.
Strict rigidThere are several ways to handle the self denial. One way is to adopt the rules fully. The norms and rules are seen as definite and absolute, ordered by the king, sanctioned by the pope, or God given. Then one becomes very strict and rigid, ideally suited to transfer the pattern of self-denial to the next generation. Also the others have to follow the norms, forms, codes, rules, routines, duties, obligations, and commands. One is not free anymore to act differently. One has to obey.
This is evident from the two meanings of order: one is that things are in an order, the second is that it is commanded. When rules and norms get to strict, deviations from the rule get less acceptable. Even discussions about the rules are not allowed anymore, one just has to listen.
Norms are ideas, strategies, gestures, ways of handling, patterns that have become fixed, they have become a rule. They can be good, but can also be rigid, too stringent. This is good in formal situations, like with machines. There is always also a voice that casts doubt about normalisations. But that doubt must be controlled, which is done by over shouting the doubt. One becomes super sure.
Order can be very efficient, because you don't have to think about all kinds of details. It is thinking in advance: where do I put my keys, so that I can find them easily later. But in relationships norms are mostly detrimental, blocking the flow of emotions.
- Ideas and views: fixed, rigid, dogmatic, orthodox, traditional, old-fashioned, limited, to their own family.
- Feeling: honour, by obeying orders, by being loyal.
- Anger, when things don't go the way they have in mind.
- Anger, when they don't get something they want or it is forbidden.
- Anger, when a ritual or order is changed, broken.
- Honour crime, honour killing.
ControlAnother consequence can be that one becomes very controlling. The control is needed to follow the rules. It goes wrong when there is an imbalance between the strictness of the rules and the ability to control things. One cannot trust the inner feelings anymore, one’s natural intuition. One is cut off from the inner core. So one needs to control more and more, as one cannot trust life, the universe or God. One becomes very orderly.
Children can become ritualistic, everything has go according to plan and agreements. They can develop the need to place their toys always in exactly the same order.
As adults they can develop rigid, compulsive traits. An extreme form is obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD. They need strong control to get the feeling they have themselves under control. Or the opposite, that they cannot control themselves as in anorexia or bulimia.
Monomania is another form of getting things under control. Limiting oneself to one thing can make one good at it, for instance in computer games or doodling.
To overcome chaos in their mind they can also become very rigid and develop fixed ideas. In extreme forms it can lead to political fanaticism like fascism, nazism and communism.
Distraction, addictionAnother ways to handle the self denial is to go to extremes, in order to feel alive again. This can lead to all kinds of addictions, to drugs like alcohol, tobacco, cocaine, heroin and so on. These drugs are emotional painkillers, giving the feeling of being alive and happy. But it does not last, so one needs them again and again, more and more.
- Hyperactivity, constantly on the move, restless.
- Addiction to computers, internet, games.
- Addiction to television, Youtube, cartoons, movies.
- Autistic, retarded children like to watch cartoon with their exaggerated emotions, as they cannot deal with normal emotions.
- Addiction: gambling.
- Addiction: sex, kinky, perversion, pedophilia.
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Addictions: drugs, alcohol, tobacco, cocaine, heroin.
- Violence: irritability, anger, rage, < trifles, maliciousness, destruction, killing.
AutismAnother reaction is to go into resistance. One can escape the rules by getting out of contact: autism. One retires in one's own world, not showing what really goes on inside. One retires in one’s own cocoon, their own safe base, where they cannot be attacked, where they lock everyone out. In extreme cases one stops even talking, like in retarded autistic children. Even eye contact is often avoided. Sharing emotions and ideas becomes difficult or impossible. As they don’t understand their own emotions, they don’t understand them of others. They lack empathy and sympathy and have only operational contact. They prefer the contact with close ones like parents and friends above strangers.
- Suppression of the real self, authenticity, autonomy.
- Retardation: speech, motion, toilet training, understanding, physical, growth, sexual.
- Lack of contact with parents, other children, talking, playing.
- Anger, < disorder, broken promises, prohibitions.
Chaos hecticThe self-denial can also lead to chaos in their mind, the opposite of order. They lack an inner core, as it it suppressed. Emotions and impulses come and go suddenly. They feel out of control of themselves. This can also express outwardly by restless motion, often seemingly purposeless. They can run around, in circles, up and down, cradling and jumping. Their concentration is difficult. They can get the diagnosis of ADD, Attention deficit disorder or or ADHD, when they are also hyperactive.
Weak immatureThe self-denial can lead to feeling immature, shy and uncertain. They lack control over their emotions and impulses and cannot verbalise them very well. They are very sensitive to criticism which makes them shrink. It can also provoke sudden outbursts of anger.
Cultures and leaders can have a tendency to denigrate and belittle people. The Catholic church made people into sinners, born with an inherited sin.
Science depicts people as less than a grain of sand in the universe.
They feel simple and thus prefer simple surroundings. They have an aversion to new and complicated things and situations. They want to stay small and do not want to grow and become an adult with all their responsibilities. The immaturity can also express as physical and growth retardation or sexual immaturity.
When handicapped they feel better in institutions where things are orderly structured and disciplined.
They can look like slaves, coolies, serfs, servants, untouchables, workers, machines, robots, zombies, who just function and do not think. They are forced to do simple, repetitive, monotonous tasks. It is like the drum in the music, giving the rhythm, but lacking melody.
- Immaturity, mental retardation, autism, Asperger.
- Feeling weak, small, incapable, inferior, wrong, bad, guilty, original sin.
- Feeling worthless, being not good enough, a failure, at school.
- Conspicuously inconspicuous, like a grain of sand in the universe.
- I-weakness, being cut off from inner world.
- Immature, small, inconspicuous, childish, naive.
- Timid, shy, in the background; uncertain, insecurity.
- Desire: being normal, unspectacular, invisible, unimportant.
- Retardation in speech, emotional and mental development, sexuality.
Impulsive Naive Not thinking
The self-denial can give rise to an impulsive quality. They just do things, without thinking about it. It is a kind of naivety, as if they are like children, or a teenager. It is as if there is no past, only a future. There is usually they do not think about problems, just accepting things as they are. It seems as if the thinking quality is not well developed.
- It is as if there no past, only a future.
- Lack of vision, lack of reflection.
- No planning for the future, no savings.
Village communityThis personality feels small and incapable in a modern and technical world. They prefer a village over a city, being at home over school. They prefer hand work over head work. They feel more at place in an old-fashioned village, where everyone knows each other. They prefer to retire in remote areas where things are as they have been forever. They hope things will stay that way forever. They feel cast from paradise, where everything was easy and happy.
Rules and the community have a strong relationship. When people start living together in bigger groups, like tribes and villages, rules are needed to give order in the community. As one does not have contact with all the people of the community all the time, one needs agreements, rules of how to do things. The division of tasks all needs rules. The forms of the rules makes cooperation more easy, needing less time.
On the other hand all kinds of alliances and bonds are there. And there are feuds, mostly having arisen from minor things, like stealing a meter of the neighbour’s land, or his cow. Or coming from jealousy. Typical is that those feuds last for years, even lifetimes, as nothing is talked about. So nothing gets resolved. The norms, rules and traditions have to be followed, rigidly, even when they are useless.
They do well in familiar surroundings with family and neighbours. They like being part of clubs of sports and Carnival where they can help by doing hand work.
- Desire: known people, family, relatives, friends, neighbours, villagers.
- Aversion: strangers; new things.
5 Remedy Picture
MindAutism; Asperger.
Ailments from not being allowed to be oneself, have one’s own ideas, thought, emotion, will.
Ailments from traumatic youth, violent parents, war trauma, vaccinations, cross-generational imprints, cultural imprints.
Feeling insecure, worthless, a failure, being not good enough, at school, at work.
Feeling small, inconspicuous, insignificant, not seen.
Hyperactivity, constantly on the move, jumping, running, in circles, head banging.
Lack of contact with own feelings, feelings of others; lack of empathy.
Being cut off from their spirit, their humanity, emotions, empathy.
Uniforms, lacking identity, authenticity.
Retention suppression holding back, weak depression.
Lack of personal expression.
Anger, powerless anger, but difficult to defend oneself with speech.
Ideas and views are fixed, rigid, orthodox, traditional, old-fashioned, orthodox, traditional, old-fashioned, limited, to their own family.
Desire: to be normal, simple, like everyone, natural, unspectacular, invisible, unimportant.
Desire: belonging to the community, the collective, tribe, ancestors.
Desire: control, order; computer games, being at least good in one thing.
Desire: routine; predictability; simple life, at home, with family, in own village; adapting to norms.
Desire: simple music, folk music, tear-jerkers, sing along, polonaise.
Aversion: to be special, abnormal, stand out, diversity; being adult, responsibility; blame, criticism; strangers; changes; unpredictability; culture, big cities; learning; exertion; change.
Submit to power, the organisation.
Vicarious agents, human beings without true self, without autonomy.
Male, feels superior; pride, thinking themselves to be very good, indispensable.
Expressions: everyone does, knows; just; obvious, naturally, normal.
Active reaction: violent outburst, bloated or arrogant; outburst, in mind, urine, stool, glands.
Passive reaction: conformity, suppression, being silent, timid, dry, retaining, depressed.
Fear: alcoholism; parents quarreling, divorcing; making mistakes, being blamed, criticised, embarrassed.
Thinking slow, difficult.
Concentration problems; memory loss; disorientation.
Absent-minded, confused, foggy, like a zombie.
GeneralSensation: burning, sharp; stuck; motionless; stuck.
Weather: desire shade, damp, humid, wet conditions; aversion sun, heat, dry.
Aversion: food, anorexia.
Food: < alcohol.
BodyGeneral: ! beri-beri, thiamine deficiency; weight loss; ! growth retardation; energy low, fatigue, burn-out.
Action: anthelminthic; purgative; antibacterial, antimicrobial; diuretic; anti-inflammatory; analgesic; antioxidant; anti-cancer, antidiabetic, antiviral.
Nervous: encephalopathy, Wernicke; ataxia; Korsakoff; dementia, Alzheimer; walking tiptoe.
Head: headache.
Eyes: mydriasis; nystagmus; hemianopsia; amblyopia; retinopathy; retina and macula degeneration; vision less, yellow, blind; diplopia, < looking sideways.
Throat: hoarse.
Lungs: coughs; asthma, bronchitis; pleurisy; shortness of breath.
Heart: myocarditis; dilatation.
Stomach: nausea; vomiting; painless hiccough; infection; stomachache; indigestion.
Abdomen: aches; bloated; colic; worms, tapeworm.
Rectum: incontinence; constipation.
Urinary: enuresis; urination copious, frequent, involuntary, < stress, hurry; stress incontinence; retention, painful; renal infection.
Female: dysmenorrhoea; endometriosis; infertility.
Back: backache; spinal column problems; scoliosis, kyphosis.
Limbs: tingling, numbness; cramps, calves, < night; gout; arthritis.
Skin: wounds, cuts; sores; boils; burns; abscesses; acne, eczema; psoriasis; hair thinning; scurf.