EssenceThis personality tries to stay normal and in control, and has to suppress his emotions of being neglected and unwanted in order to survive. He has the feeling of having to do this completely on his own, without any support from parents and friends. He has to stay tough and in control of himself, but that takes so much energy that he has not enough left to live his own life and establish a job.
MindAutism, PDD nos, ADHD; Gilles de la Tourette; PTSD.
Stress from contact with narcissistic mother.
Father very controlling and suppressive.
Ailments from parents divorced.
Hyperactive; restless.
Emotions intense, overwhelming, unbalanced, alternating cheerful and depressive moods.
Feeling trapped and restricted.
Feeling nothing, numb, shit is just happening, suppressing emotions; never cried, when young.
Agitated, angry, with tense muscles and swollen veins.
Unhappy, without knowing it; not experiencing and processing emotions.
Easily stressed, especially around people.
Thoughts of death, suicidal.
Work, very meticulous; everything has to have a designated place.
Automatic self-protection.
Exhausted, burn-out from constantly working.
Lack of energy and endurance.
Keeping myself busy with work and distractions in order not to feel.
Mind not functioning well.
Plants: likes the colours of plants very much.
Dreams: control; entertainment; amusement; being trapped in a labyrinth, unable to open eyes, needing to flee.
GeneralsWeather: depressed from bad weather; < cold; < full moon.
Desire: sushi, pasta, fruit.
Aversion: pancakes; capers.
BodyGeneral: exhausted, burn-out, desire to lie down.
Head: headache, intense, sharp, cutting, knife like, < stress, back of his head, extending to forehead and eyes, with stiff and tense jaws and shortness of breath, > showering and relaxation; < morning, with nausea.
Nose: lack of smell.