The strongest feeling that
Lanthanum gives you is of insecurity and hesitation. It's as if they want to look in all directions in the same moment. They search for possibilities and fear threats. They fear being ridiculed and bullied. Jesting is a big keynote. People tend to tease them automatically. They are often ridiculed a great deal, which increases their insecurity. As a defense they can join in the jesting, not knowing what better to do.
Confusion about autonomy
They have a profound doubt if they can really be independent. They want it very much but also see their weakness. This is often the consequence of a situation of being dominated, for instance an authoritarian father. It can be the result of being teased a lot at school, as can be done typically in the older English schools. The teasing produces doubt about their strength and independence.
Trying to become autonomousTrying many professions, not even trying but just falling into them, never making a choice. A choice is not needed anyway as they live in their inner world and aren't concerned with a career. It gives a feeling of not having firm grounding, as if everything is unstable. This is expressed in the theme of slime.
Confusion about themselvesThey feel confused about themselves. They don't know who they are and what to stand for. But they want to be someone, so they try out several things. When others criticize it, or even worse, ridicule it, they don't know anymore what they thought was right or not. They feel deep confusion and inner turmoil.
Confusion about inner world: teasing jestingLanthanum seems to be strongly connected to the situation of the English boarding schools. The boys entering it can only rely on themselves (
Lanthanides). They are teased, mocked and bullied (
Lanthanum) and the only means of survival is to put on a poker face and don’t show the hurt of the inner world (
Lanthanides). It’s even better to start teasing others too (
Lanthanum). It’s like an intensive course in autonomy (
Lanthanides). The typical English stiff upper lip is an expression of this system, thinking on 2 levels (self reflection,
Lanthanides), namely your own internal world and the outer expressions.
Being teased is not as strong as being ridiculed, it’s like being put down with a question “Do they really mean it, or is it only for fun?". But they don’t want to show their weakness. And when they are teased they start thinking that maybe it’s a good thing to do the same. When the seemingly stronger people are teasing others it probably means that one becomes stronger by teasing. At least the teasing hides their own insecurity. But it makes them doubt if they really want to tease others. So they have to ask themselves if they are really autonomous by teasing.
SmileTheir insecurity often makes them smile, in order to quieten the others and themselves. But the smile doesn't mean they're happy with it, it's out of insecurity. They often give in when others push them, which seems to make them unreliable. But in the end they will hold their own opinion, if they can find it.
AutonomyLanthanum is confused about what autonomy really is. They wonder if it’s really possible to be autonomous and they wonder how others manage that. They will try to stand up for themselves from time to time, but will be easily intimidated and give up.
ShadowLanthanum doesn't really know what's going on. They see the trouble in life, what people can do to each other, but they don't understand what's going on and feel confused. They don't understand others or themselves.
PowerTries to find out where his power is and how he can use it.
MindTeasing, jesting.
Teased, mocked, bullied.
Jesting.
Jesting due to his own inabilities. Poker face, clown, smiling, slimy.
Delusion: being unable to succeed.
Talent: looking at a problem from three or several perspectives.
Imprisoned, locked in a cylinder, cannot communicate, talk.
Being in another world, alienated.
Colour preference: 17-19BC Lanthd., 12-14BC Lanthd., 12-14AB.General
Aversion: slimy
PhysicalSensation of a small bar beside the right nose and eye.
Larynx cancer.
Lungs: granulomas, pneumoconiosis, bronchitis, pneumonia.
Chest pressure, heavy, tight, tension.
Liver problems: necrosis, bitterness; spleen problems.
Colitis, diarrhea.
Kidney problems.
Male: testis, epididymis, seminal vesicles, infertility.
Female: ovaries, uterus, infertility, miscarriage.
Arthritis, bone, cartilage.
Blood: platelets, coagulation problems.
SymbolismMyth: Heracles labor 1: Heracles seeks absolution for his guilt at the oracle of Delphi.