EssenceThis personality is like one of Kaïn and Abel, two brothers in competition. One brother is held in high esteem by the parents and grandparents and they give him all their possessions. He accepts their gifts but uses them for gambling, alcohol and failing companies. He is arrogant, unfeeling, a bit psychopathic, nobody else matters. He behaves as if he is great for taking care of his younger brother, but it is just pretense as his brother is working for him for free in his company. The brother feels like half a person, with no confidence and shaky hands; a secret drinker, putting whisky in the coffee. He feels unworthy for instance because he is gay.
MindUnable to move, wants to move but has to stay.
Empty form, leaves dry, brown, like mummies.
Fixed in the past.
Quicksand, every motion makes the situation worse.
Desire for nice flashy things, suits and cars.
Cannot escape; stuck, cannot move away.
Indifference.
Dizzy, brain fog.
Spiky, hard, cruel, vindictive to others; everyone shivers.
Fake success.
Abuse stated as exploration.
Family abuse by priests.
Parents who look up to their son.
Cover things up, fear things are found out by others.
Keep it in the family.
Rigid.
Looking straight, on the surface.
Façade of civility, being above approach.
Worrying, constant, of being exposed.
Paralyzed.
Caring for someone out of fear of being exposed.
Idea that masturbation is a sin, self-pollution.
Expression: Jesus masturbated for Christ’s sake.
Codependency.
Brutal crime in the end.
GeneralSensation: shivering; something alive in the body.
BodyAction: antioxidant.
Head: feels separated from the body.
Eyes: stinging pain, burning, allergic.
Nose: running.
Stomach: nausea from anxiety.
Rectum: diarrhoea.
Genital: gonorrhea.
Back: shiver in the spine.
DD: Thuja.