AnalysisCautious handling autonomy and care
Avoiding the inner world for fear of losing care
A cautious mother hinders autonomy
A domineering mother makes them cautious
As a mother avoiding autonomy
Cautious handling autonomy and careThe main problem can be seen as how to handle cautiously care and autonomy. They want to be autonomous and at the same time need to be taken care of. It can be difficult to combine being yourself and being in contact with your loved ones. It will make them cautious, handling situations carefully. But that can lead them to becoming so prudent, that they only make plans and never really go for it.
Avoiding the inner world for fear of losing care
They fear becoming independent out of fear that they will lose the care of others. When they are independent, they also have to take care of themselves. But they need the care so much that they avoid really becoming independent. They fear that independence means losing all contacts so that they will end up being alone and lonely.
A cautious mother hinders autonomyTheir striving for autonomy and freedom can be hindered by an overprotecting mother. She can be so cautious and anxious that she blocks their inner development. They can take on the fears of their mother, so that they avoid taking their life in their own hands. Or their mother can be so domineering that they fear taking on their own power.
A domineering mother makes them cautiousThe opposite can be true too, that their mother wants to push them to take control of themselves. But they may not be so far ahead in their development and become anxious. They fear that they cannot do what their mother tries to force them to and avoid taking up their power.
As a mother avoiding autonomyThey desire to be free but the care of their children absorbs them so much that they can’t be free. They will try from time to time, but have to give up out of the feeling that it will lead to lack of care. They can alternate between independence and over-nurture.
They can alternate strongly between trying to be self-controlled and being a mother.