AnalysisProving their love in autonomous ways
Having to prove that love makes people free
Proving that their lover is autonomous
Proving that only autonomous people can really love
Having to prove that they themselves are lovable
My lover is a rascal
Proving their love in autonomous waysThe basic problem is how autonomy and love can go together; they handle this by trying to prove something. They want to prove their love to their spouse. Or they have the feeling that they have to prove their love all the time but they want to do it in freedom. They get annoyed when they feel that giving love makes them dependent. They feel that love can only blossom in freedom.
Having to prove that love makes people free
They want to prove to the world that love makes people free. They think that by loving people they will become autonomous and will stop projecting their problems onto others.
Proving that their lover is autonomousThey want to prove to others that their lover or spouse is autonomous. They have an aversion to being seen as someone that puts pressure on their spouse. As a kind of contradiction, they can even force their spouse to do things to prove their autonomy.
Proving that only autonomous people can really love
They are convinced that only free people can really love others. Love out of force or rules is not real love for them. So they want to make people free and initiate them into the world of autonomy so that the world will be a more loving place.
Having to prove that they are lovableThey can have the feeling that they have to prove their love all the time. Their spouse can be very demanding. It will produce in them the feeling that their love is never enough, that they always have to give more. But they refuse to adapt to their spouse, because that will give them the feeling that they are giving up their independence, their freedom.
Disease often starts after they get the feeling that they won’t succeed in proving their love.
They often put a lot of pressure on the relationship. Their marriage must be good and loving. They or their spouse must prove something. That brings tension into the relationship. It can take the form of psychologizing, of searching in their mind for all the explanations of the problem. But they do it in a theoretical way, without really getting in touch with the problem. The tension can lead to a divorce, the opposite of what they were striving for.
BodyEye: strabismus, left, outward.
Ear: itch.