EssenceA girl in youthful innocence, playing in summer, followed by a man, wondering if he wants to violate her or not. He is just joking, teasing, playing with her. She wonders if he is a danger or not. She is unable to face the world, overwhelmed by the world that she not understand.
Half threatening, half play, half desire, half fear. There's nothing to do, except marvel and play in the here and now.
Or retreat and cower in terrible fear, because you can't protect yourself. Better to stay alone, because you trust no one. To care only for what is necessary for survival and every action remains in simple routine.
MindFeeling tender and hysterical, easily electrified, < others too close, not careful and considerate.
Desire to be alone and also be in a relationship.
Desire company, but one cannot trust others.
Feeling fragile, vulnerable, < living in an aggressive environment with danger everywhere, > escaping, hiding, in a cave.
Feeling anxious, overwhelming, like a shy deer; afraid of everything and everyone.
Feeling paralyzed, light as a feather, unable to move.
Always on guard, unable to defend oneself.
Desire to make oneself small and inconspicuous, walking bent over, not attracting attention.
Others complain about the disturbance you give, the space you take, but give much more disturbance himself, takes much more space.
Others do all kinds of things with you, against you, and one has to allow that also.
One like to help, but that doesn’t mean is has to take the form of taking with violence, with malformations, but preferably with softness and thankfulness. Children, playing, dancing, running, hopping, together, till they suddenly are forced.
Feeling not worthy to be looked at.
Self-pity, poor, sad, a heap of misery.
I am cold, I have no protection.
Fear: dark, alone; anything new; cold; attracting attention; being violated, pulverised, raped.
Inconspicuous wallflower.
Turning, wheel kicking, wheel breaking.
Speedy Gonzales, the fastest mouse in Mexico.
Danaides.
BodyVertigo: loosing balance.
Head: headache, sharp, stinging, pulsating, temple, frontal, left more than right, from top to bottom.
Nose: itches, the nasal mucosa burns as if dried out.
Mouth: lips and cheeks, throbbing, tingling, stinging, lips and tip of tongue, left more than right; tongue itches at the edges; toothache, left lower, 6th or 7th.
Throat: choking pressure,
Lungs: sighing, better by slowly letting go.