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Psilocybe cubensis
Year 2021, Issue 71CaseAuthor: Britta Dähnrich
Elisabeth Sehlinger
Trituration proving on 05.01.2022;
Management: Jan Scholten, Utrecht
Provers: Britta Dähnrich, Elisabeth Sehlinger
C1 was proved individually by the provers, C2 and C3 together.Summary:Inner almost obsessive drive, with high energy and power that can hardly be stopped. Must deliver a result. Moving outside social conventions, party exuberantly, celebrate carnival.
Calm, serenity, relaxed, resulting serenity. I am in perfect alignment with what I am doing; everything I do is important when I do it with dedication. As a result, I feel connected to the world and society as an important member. In this spiritual connectedness, I am a valuable person, as valuable as anyone else.Prover 1C1
1.
Giggling inside; light feeling, cheerfulness; relaxing, no I HAVE TO; I could laugh all the time; when scratching, it seems crazy to scratch so neatly - all this effort!2.Quite strenuous, the rubbing – why to make an effort? My eyes close in between and dream images/ shreds appear; very light, serene permission to do things my way.3.I fall asleep again and again briefly; the rubbing seems meaningless.4.Dream image: I am blamed and keep saying: I didn't do it, I didn't want to do it; I am actually constantly elsewhere, not focused on rubbing at all; I refuse to do what is ordered.5.Adolescents and children treated without any understanding; I emerge from the swamp of mental fogginess - feel clearer and more awake.6.Keep sinking into scraps of thoughts that I then no longer remember.
pressure in the middle of the forehead.C1 Prover 21.
Feel the rubbing noise very loudly, it bothers me, so I put the bowl from the wooden table on my thighs and then continue rubbing. There the noise is more bearable.
Slight headache in the middle of the forehead
I am under pressure of expectation that something will happen and that I could write something down.
Eyes burn slightly.
Scratching: I am a little disappointed that not much happened internally.2.Triturating has a somewhat soporific effect.
Scratching: Itchy stitches below the left calf.3.It creates a nice spiral pattern when rubbed, which I really like.
Tickling in the nose
The arm with which I am rubbing gets heavy.4.Slight pain in the shoulder that pulls to the arm, hand to fingers.
I realize that I am rubbing very fast and hard all the time. I can't do it in any other way, although it is exhausting. It's as if something from inside is driving me to do it.
I have a pang that makes me want to laugh, but I don't even know why.
Scratching: I scratch with a lot of energy and doggedness.5.I have the feeling I can keep triturating for hours and nothing will be revealed to me.
I continue to rub quickly, putting all my energy into it. This is not controlled by my will, but I feel driven to do it.
Scratching:6.There is still the drive to rub quickly and energetically. I am completely focused on it and get almost into a frenzy. I get into it and get faster and faster.
Scratching:
I feel like after a wild dance, blissfully exhausted.
I continue to do the scratching with incredible zeal.C2 joint trituration1.
Prover 1: I have doubts whether everything is right and correct, whether I have the right shells and whether it is right how I do it.
Prover 2: The rubbing is easy for me.
Prover 1: Rubbing is going easily, but I am uninvolved, as if something is rubbing, but not the person
Prover 2: Feeling like something is lurking in the bowl that might jump out at me in a moment.
Prover 1: I have images of funny carnival masks. There's a laugh inside me, I can't help but thinking of funny events.2.Prover 1: No matter if I scratch or whatever I do, it's already all clear what the fungus is doing. We don't have to make any effort at all.
Prover 2: the time has gone by so fast
2. Prover 1: Now all of a sudden it doesn't have that ease. It's as if you're making a terrible effort, and as if you're trying to reach your goal with sweat and tears. As if one had to climb a mountain with great difficulty.
Prover 2: The right shoulder hurts a little and the hand with which I am rubbing.
Prover 1: I feel the same way now, as if everything is so terribly strenuous.
It's so quite dogged, woe betide I can`t make it, who knows what will happen.
Prover 2: I am thoughtless and emotionless, cut off from myself.
Prover 1: I was like that all the time before, but now that I have to make such an effort, I am fully present.
Prover 2: I still feel like it's better when I rub faster. It makes me feel better even though it's exhausting. I also get quite warm doing it. There is a heat wave coming up.
Prover 1: Feel like I'm running a 100m race where seconds matter and you want to be really fast.
Now it's also such a joy of speed.
Prover 2: The heat wave is still going on.
It's so hard now, like the mass is changing. That lightness is no longer possible and I can't rub as fast either. It's like the consistency has changed, like it's a little sticky. It's getting harder and harder to rub.
Scratching:
Prover 2: it sticks to the walls like that. Is difficult to scrape off
Prover 1: It seems like there is a contrast between difficult and easy.
I have a picture in my mind of a young woman I know who is always bouncing around happily. I call her "the quick flash." That's how it feels to me now, without effort it's a joy.3.Prover 2: I can't let go like that, always waiting for something to come along, something spectacular that is hiding.
Prover 1: I have the feeling that something is building up that has not yet shown itself.
Prover 2: I have dancing medieval dressed figures in front of my eyes, like Till Eulenspiegel, with medieval instruments.
Now the image changes to indigenous people with feather ornaments.
Prover 1: I have the feeling it goes deeper historically, like in prehistoric times or primeval times, where the earth was not yet really overgrown and populated.
Prover 2: Just imagine that some animals eat this mushroom and jump around intoxicated.
Prover 1: I'm also getting really warm. I see priests sitting around a fire and dancing and celebrating a ritual.
Prover 2: Now I have the image of an exorcism. See a witch on the pyre. She looks like a witch from a fairy tale. I am completely uninvolved with the images, they just come and don't touch me.
Scratching:
Prover 1: I am still with the priests who are celebrating a ritual. It's something very benevolent that they do, like a healing ritual. Like they are giving you permission to be who you actually are, without roles, without effort.4.Prover 1: It feels like the secret of the potion is about to be revealed. It's like the priests are mixing a magic potion.
Prover 2: Asterix and Obelix just comes to my mind.
Prover 1: It has something to do with getting deep insights, learning more about yourself when you drink it.
Prover 2: I am hoping all the time that the mushroom would reveal itself to me now, not when I would take it in. I am keeping getting tempted to take a little of the substance all the time. Have a feeling it could be a very beautiful world revealing itself.
Prover 1: I think so too. A world with peace, understanding tolerance, where everyone feels connected.
Prover 2: I am at peace with myself, that is how I feel now. I can rub more slowly now, not in such a hurry and with such a violent dynamic. I feel a pleasant flowing through my body.
Prover 1: I also have a very peaceful feeling now.
Scratching:
Prover 2: I have the feeling there are two sides. The one side is the calmness and being in tune with yourself the other side is being driven from within. I do not feel that much driven like in the beginning, not that much dogged.5.Prover 1: It is as if a priest is speaking, this magic potion is only for people who have reached a certain level of consciousness. If one takes it, without this consciousness, it could have an opposite effect and the shot could backfire, that's how it feels. When one has reached this consciousness, the substance has a beneficial and mind-expanding effect. The knowledge that is imparted through it is ultimately helpful for the whole world. When one has this knowledge, one also deals well and lovingly with others.
Prover 2: I am still on the other side, where I feel something demonic.
Demonic is perhaps not the right expression. It's more like something charlatan like Till Eulenspiegel or some carnival people who do something crazy and are messing around. Not in a malicious way, it has something exuberant with dancing, jumping around and doing things you normally wouldn't do, just going crazy, going over the limit. Now I also have a feeling of being exuberant, not taking everything so seriously, wanting to experience something exciting, according to the motto "come on, let's go out and have fun". Do something crazy maybe also something forbidden, something that doesn't fit socially into the norms, but is real fun.
Scratching:
Prover 2: I think of the song by Nena 99 Luftballons and hippies with dancing, being boisterous and smoking pot.6.Prover 2: have a slight headache in the whole forehead.
Prover 1: have scenes in mind where I have felt overwhelmed in recent years. Rubbing now makes me feel like all of this is not necessary to get overwhelmed. It's not coming from my head now, it's coming from my feelings.
Prover 2- I am not thinking of myself, but of a friend who always had the feeling that she was not a lovable person and did everything to get love. Also did things that harmed her and even put her in great danger with worst sexual experiences with beating, hitting, which ended in rape.C3 joint triuration1.
Prover 1: I have the image of dervishes dancing around the fire and being all happy; feeling like something is smiling happily at me from the bowl; somehow there is something soothing about rubbing; in that rubbing sound it's like there's an echo in it, funny.
It has something cheerful; really strange with this sound; I'm holding my bowl with my left hand, it's as if the echo is in the left hand; as if the sound is coming from the hand.
Prover 1: That's absurd, contrary to the laws of physics! Somehow it seems familiar to me that this has happened before, at C2; as if time and space were suspended; there is the Koan in Zen: hear the clapping of one hand, well, that normally doesn't work either, with everyday consciousness you can't hear the clapping of a hand, you can only hear that from another consciousness
Prover 2: it is at one place; as if it was transmitted and you can hear it in the hand.
Prover 1: for me that also makes up this cheerfulness, for me the cheerfulness doesn't feel like a usual cheerfulness, but such a "spiritual cheerfulness"; I also know this from life in the ashram, where I also always have to laugh so much, because it is simply a cheerfulness, where everything is no longer so important and so serious, everything is no longer so fixed, it is all just a game; that's how it feels. This cheerfulness also arises from such a consciousness of security, a very deep security that everything is okay and you can play your game here on earth and that makes it so easy. I could go on like this forever now, feels really good; not hard, doesn't demand so much from you; feeling of doing something mysterious. There is also awe involved.
Prover 1: Now I feel a really pleasant relaxation. I think this is a very good remedy when strong effort or wanting takes you over. I have a little fatigue in my arm right now.
Prover 2: But I also have this, a pleasant feeling of being flooded. It starts from the bottom in the legs.
Prover 1: it's quite funny, as if the bowl is a being that can think and feel; it is singing now (laugh)as if I could have a conversation with it.
Prover 2: I have the picture of the Macchu Picchu where there is this temple and some kind of pyramid. Heat wave. It's strange, I have this feeling in my legs all the time, like a streaming that's cold, not uncomfortably cold, in the upper body heat wave, down below it's cool.
Prover 1: I clearly get the feeling and the certainty that this is something consciousness-expanding, it really feels like that, which can be absolutely helpful, not because you want to escape reality, but because in the depth it can open up a reality for you that is healing.
Prover 2: Time goes really fast when rubbing!!! You do not have such a feeling for time!
Prover 1: I would be really interested to know who has already proved Psilocybe; it is also a feeling as if matter is not important right now. I'm scratching in the bowl just now, but it feels so light and so detached at the same time.
Prover 2: a stupid association, like as if a duck is croaking all the time; we are laughing; like as if it waddles around like that, quack quack quack.
Prover 1: I do understand what you mean
Prover 2: it sounds so happy; she's walking around, so excited, happily excited, as if she wants to express something with it
Prover 1: feels the same.3.Prover 2: that quak quak quak, as if the duck was saying, whether I say quak quak quak or you say something, we understand each other; laughing; we don't need the language, but what's about a duck now ?
Prover 1: could be any bird; it doesn't matter in the end
Prover 2: association with the birds; I just have a very strong association of birds; Komoran sitting there and spreading its wings when it is drying; is not really a small bird.
Prover 1: I have the image from a film, in Mexico or Peru, high in the mountains, it was about a mother goddess, that was so high up in the mountains; the pilgrims walked up there under the most difficult conditions. I have the images of these mountains, really high up; that is so barren, wild and quiet, beautiful atmosphere.
Prover 2: Images of carnival come to me, but I'm not impressed by the carnival, I look at it, but actually I sit there as if in meditation, I' m not impressed by it, I see it, but inside I'm completely at peace. Like I can sit there like that in the middle and let it happen like that, despite all the hustle and bustle I can sit in peace.
Prover 1: that feels like you're in the middle of it all and you're not getting carried away, what masters say like that; time is racing !
Prover 2: there is a feeling, no matter where you are, you can find to your innermost peace. And just let that happen, what is there around you. I just sit there. Now the little duck is back,as if it wants to say something, and I don't understand it,the phrase comes into my head: do what you do, but with total dedication!
Prover 1: a master duck! (laughter)
Prover 2: the time just goes by too fast!
Prover 1: maybe because we are so really concentrated. I just had the memory of a book, it's about a master walking around in the mountains with his student and then they have to abseil down a rock, it's all quite dangerous; and for the student it's clear, he can actually only manage that if he has great confidence in the master and also in his own abilities. He manages that in the book, of course. And I thought at the time, that's always so beautifully written in books like this, that they can trust within 10 minutes; now during the trituaration it was like this could be done quickly, that you can just trust. It's not as complicated as we always think.
Prover 2: I have such a perfect agreement with the trituaration now, that's just right, what I'm doing now! And it feels good, too. That's exactly what I'm doing. I like doing it, too. Satisfaction in doing it, also a bit serene.
Prover 1: what more do we need.
Prover 2: the feeling of rubbing and looking into the bowl, that's the most beautiful meditation exercise! Like it's something really important too! I have the feeling that during the first trituration I did it with a drive that was almost compulsive, violent; and now I'm doing something important, I'm convinced of it, but it's relaxed; no more being driven.
Prover 1: it's exciting to witness these different states of consciousness; you're doing the same thing but with a different state, it's becoming so clear now.
Prover 2: it's so fast, really amazing! Time goes by so quickly!
Prover 1: when I added the lactose, it felt completely new, as if I had never seen it before, as if it was a completely new material. Somehow it is like that, but it's so exaggerated.
Prover 2: I have an imagination of mountains covered in snow like and a moss lawn. I see the mushroom growing on it, it is so untouched, this landscape, as if there had never been anyone. In complete unity together with the covered mountains. In unity, but also in undisturbed peace.
Prover 1: I would also be really interested to know if you can find the mushroom so easily in nature.
Prover 2: there is this beautiful picture: what are you doing with this beautiful undisturbed nature ? you are disturbing it !
Prover 1: it is a dimension where it cannot be disturbed, there is something so indestructible.
Prover 2: it's such a perfect picture.
Prover 1: I'm getting so totally tired now.5.Prover 2: There are also C4 triturations. I have the feeling that I should do that, maybe there will be more revelations.
Prover 1: I think that everything has already been shown; for my feeling we have already received very deep spiritual insights.
Prover 2: I just thought, I have time and then I could continue doing it; because I like doing it so much. ( laughs) is quite exciting.6.Prover 2: feeling, the substance is like a hug.
Prover 1: everything is so very relaxed and calm.
Prover 2: Yes, I think so too; I felt the need, when I started rubbing now, to be very careful and gentle with what's in the bowl.
Prover 1: it just feels like what we felt at the beginning of C3 is now going more into the body, like it's becoming more manifest and more conscious. It's going deeper into the matter.
Prover 2: I had the interesting thought that I should take a mushroom, maybe the Xerocombus; Feeling it's the most important thing in the world, what I'm doing now. Everything is important to me, that is just as important and valuable as someone who is doing something very valuable for humanity. Triturating is just as important right now. Actually the only thing that matters is if you do it with dedication, then it doesn't really matter what you do. Whether I am saving the world (or think I am saving the world) or triturating here.
Prover 1: exactly !
Prover 2: that's really a very deep insight that it's just as important as everything else. There is such an agreement, also an emotional agreement with this insight.
Prover 1: what a wise mushroom!!!
Prover 2: yes, that makes me very happy now ! We don't have to take it in substrate, we just have to triturate it !
Prover 2: it makes me happy because I often have the feeling that I do not enough. And now I find that is a very great insight.
Prover 1: I find that so exciting, because in the beginning it was an effort, a bit ambitious, driven from within, without knowing what was driving you, but not being able to do it any other way.
Prover 2: I'm sure that every trituration has its own special moments.
Prover 1 1: Yes, of course! But this here I think is very beneficial, sometimes it is just an experience; at best it can redeem something of yourself, I find that healing too.Debriefing:Prover 2: Initially I had the expectation that something very important would reveal itself, but now it is something so simple and profound that has revealed itself. It's such a simple wisdom.
Prover 1: if we would live according to this wisdom, many problems would take care of themselves! E.g. politically: the street sweeper, who sweeps the street, knows that this is just as important as the politician, who jets around the world and meets politicians, or the doctor, who makes an operation. If everyone had the awareness for himself that exactly what I am doing now is exactly the right thing and exactly fitting and coherent like everything else and you yourself have the feeling that you are a valuable member of society, then what problems should there be?
Prover 2: exactly, the feeling that you are just as valuable as any other person in the world!
Prover 1: that's how it is; great that it's now so clear with this mushroom! I now understand why Friedrich and Hans said that it should actually be dumped into the groundwater; I would like to learn more about this mushroom, e.g. where you can find it in nature.SUMMARY OF SYMPTOMS PSILOCYBE MEXICANAMind
Exerting oneself, pressure of expectation, driven to accomplish something, driven from within, eager, must try very hard, compulsively driven, overexerting oneself.
Everything is exhausting.
Dogged.
Unfocused, scattered thoughts.
Mindless, uncaring, uninvolved, cut off.
Sensitive to noise (2).
Doubting if I am doing it right.
Feeling unlovable; doing anything to get love and harming myself in the process, up to beatings, spanking, rape.
Demonic - something might jump out at me.
Contrast between difficult and easy.
Potion - priests - dervishes - deep knowledge.
A world with peace, understanding, tolerance, connectedness.
At peace with oneself.
Relaxed, secure, easy.
Cheerfulness, giggling, laughing(3), causeless, carnival, spiritual; cheerfulness: nothing is important and serious.
Joy without effort.
Dancing, being exuberant.
Time and space are suspended, physical laws are suspended; e.g. hearing echoes in the hand; time passes very quickly; matter is not important
Understanding without language.
Simply trusting.
Satisfied with what I do; what I do is important no matter what I do. If I do it in a sense of unity, it matters to the world; I am valuable and important as much as any other person in the world.
Being in unity and undisturbed peace; something indestructible in me.Physical symptoms:Eye burning.
Tickling in the nose.
Headache forehead; slight headache in the middle of he forehead.
Shoulder pain, extending to arm.
Itchy stitches below the left calf.
Heat wave.
Chills in the legs.
Management: Jan Scholten, Utrecht
Provers: Britta Dähnrich, Elisabeth Sehlinger
C1 was proved individually by the provers, C2 and C3 together.Summary:Inner almost obsessive drive, with high energy and power that can hardly be stopped. Must deliver a result. Moving outside social conventions, party exuberantly, celebrate carnival.
Calm, serenity, relaxed, resulting serenity. I am in perfect alignment with what I am doing; everything I do is important when I do it with dedication. As a result, I feel connected to the world and society as an important member. In this spiritual connectedness, I am a valuable person, as valuable as anyone else.Prover 1C1
1.
Giggling inside; light feeling, cheerfulness; relaxing, no I HAVE TO; I could laugh all the time; when scratching, it seems crazy to scratch so neatly - all this effort!2.Quite strenuous, the rubbing – why to make an effort? My eyes close in between and dream images/ shreds appear; very light, serene permission to do things my way.3.I fall asleep again and again briefly; the rubbing seems meaningless.4.Dream image: I am blamed and keep saying: I didn't do it, I didn't want to do it; I am actually constantly elsewhere, not focused on rubbing at all; I refuse to do what is ordered.5.Adolescents and children treated without any understanding; I emerge from the swamp of mental fogginess - feel clearer and more awake.6.Keep sinking into scraps of thoughts that I then no longer remember.
pressure in the middle of the forehead.C1 Prover 21.
Feel the rubbing noise very loudly, it bothers me, so I put the bowl from the wooden table on my thighs and then continue rubbing. There the noise is more bearable.
Slight headache in the middle of the forehead
I am under pressure of expectation that something will happen and that I could write something down.
Eyes burn slightly.
Scratching: I am a little disappointed that not much happened internally.2.Triturating has a somewhat soporific effect.
Scratching: Itchy stitches below the left calf.3.It creates a nice spiral pattern when rubbed, which I really like.
Tickling in the nose
The arm with which I am rubbing gets heavy.4.Slight pain in the shoulder that pulls to the arm, hand to fingers.
I realize that I am rubbing very fast and hard all the time. I can't do it in any other way, although it is exhausting. It's as if something from inside is driving me to do it.
I have a pang that makes me want to laugh, but I don't even know why.
Scratching: I scratch with a lot of energy and doggedness.5.I have the feeling I can keep triturating for hours and nothing will be revealed to me.
I continue to rub quickly, putting all my energy into it. This is not controlled by my will, but I feel driven to do it.
Scratching:6.There is still the drive to rub quickly and energetically. I am completely focused on it and get almost into a frenzy. I get into it and get faster and faster.
Scratching:
I feel like after a wild dance, blissfully exhausted.
I continue to do the scratching with incredible zeal.C2 joint trituration1.
Prover 1: I have doubts whether everything is right and correct, whether I have the right shells and whether it is right how I do it.
Prover 2: The rubbing is easy for me.
Prover 1: Rubbing is going easily, but I am uninvolved, as if something is rubbing, but not the person
Prover 2: Feeling like something is lurking in the bowl that might jump out at me in a moment.
Prover 1: I have images of funny carnival masks. There's a laugh inside me, I can't help but thinking of funny events.2.Prover 1: No matter if I scratch or whatever I do, it's already all clear what the fungus is doing. We don't have to make any effort at all.
Prover 2: the time has gone by so fast
2. Prover 1: Now all of a sudden it doesn't have that ease. It's as if you're making a terrible effort, and as if you're trying to reach your goal with sweat and tears. As if one had to climb a mountain with great difficulty.
Prover 2: The right shoulder hurts a little and the hand with which I am rubbing.
Prover 1: I feel the same way now, as if everything is so terribly strenuous.
It's so quite dogged, woe betide I can`t make it, who knows what will happen.
Prover 2: I am thoughtless and emotionless, cut off from myself.
Prover 1: I was like that all the time before, but now that I have to make such an effort, I am fully present.
Prover 2: I still feel like it's better when I rub faster. It makes me feel better even though it's exhausting. I also get quite warm doing it. There is a heat wave coming up.
Prover 1: Feel like I'm running a 100m race where seconds matter and you want to be really fast.
Now it's also such a joy of speed.
Prover 2: The heat wave is still going on.
It's so hard now, like the mass is changing. That lightness is no longer possible and I can't rub as fast either. It's like the consistency has changed, like it's a little sticky. It's getting harder and harder to rub.
Scratching:
Prover 2: it sticks to the walls like that. Is difficult to scrape off
Prover 1: It seems like there is a contrast between difficult and easy.
I have a picture in my mind of a young woman I know who is always bouncing around happily. I call her "the quick flash." That's how it feels to me now, without effort it's a joy.3.Prover 2: I can't let go like that, always waiting for something to come along, something spectacular that is hiding.
Prover 1: I have the feeling that something is building up that has not yet shown itself.
Prover 2: I have dancing medieval dressed figures in front of my eyes, like Till Eulenspiegel, with medieval instruments.
Now the image changes to indigenous people with feather ornaments.
Prover 1: I have the feeling it goes deeper historically, like in prehistoric times or primeval times, where the earth was not yet really overgrown and populated.
Prover 2: Just imagine that some animals eat this mushroom and jump around intoxicated.
Prover 1: I'm also getting really warm. I see priests sitting around a fire and dancing and celebrating a ritual.
Prover 2: Now I have the image of an exorcism. See a witch on the pyre. She looks like a witch from a fairy tale. I am completely uninvolved with the images, they just come and don't touch me.
Scratching:
Prover 1: I am still with the priests who are celebrating a ritual. It's something very benevolent that they do, like a healing ritual. Like they are giving you permission to be who you actually are, without roles, without effort.4.Prover 1: It feels like the secret of the potion is about to be revealed. It's like the priests are mixing a magic potion.
Prover 2: Asterix and Obelix just comes to my mind.
Prover 1: It has something to do with getting deep insights, learning more about yourself when you drink it.
Prover 2: I am hoping all the time that the mushroom would reveal itself to me now, not when I would take it in. I am keeping getting tempted to take a little of the substance all the time. Have a feeling it could be a very beautiful world revealing itself.
Prover 1: I think so too. A world with peace, understanding tolerance, where everyone feels connected.
Prover 2: I am at peace with myself, that is how I feel now. I can rub more slowly now, not in such a hurry and with such a violent dynamic. I feel a pleasant flowing through my body.
Prover 1: I also have a very peaceful feeling now.
Scratching:
Prover 2: I have the feeling there are two sides. The one side is the calmness and being in tune with yourself the other side is being driven from within. I do not feel that much driven like in the beginning, not that much dogged.5.Prover 1: It is as if a priest is speaking, this magic potion is only for people who have reached a certain level of consciousness. If one takes it, without this consciousness, it could have an opposite effect and the shot could backfire, that's how it feels. When one has reached this consciousness, the substance has a beneficial and mind-expanding effect. The knowledge that is imparted through it is ultimately helpful for the whole world. When one has this knowledge, one also deals well and lovingly with others.
Prover 2: I am still on the other side, where I feel something demonic.
Demonic is perhaps not the right expression. It's more like something charlatan like Till Eulenspiegel or some carnival people who do something crazy and are messing around. Not in a malicious way, it has something exuberant with dancing, jumping around and doing things you normally wouldn't do, just going crazy, going over the limit. Now I also have a feeling of being exuberant, not taking everything so seriously, wanting to experience something exciting, according to the motto "come on, let's go out and have fun". Do something crazy maybe also something forbidden, something that doesn't fit socially into the norms, but is real fun.
Scratching:
Prover 2: I think of the song by Nena 99 Luftballons and hippies with dancing, being boisterous and smoking pot.6.Prover 2: have a slight headache in the whole forehead.
Prover 1: have scenes in mind where I have felt overwhelmed in recent years. Rubbing now makes me feel like all of this is not necessary to get overwhelmed. It's not coming from my head now, it's coming from my feelings.
Prover 2- I am not thinking of myself, but of a friend who always had the feeling that she was not a lovable person and did everything to get love. Also did things that harmed her and even put her in great danger with worst sexual experiences with beating, hitting, which ended in rape.C3 joint triuration1.
Prover 1: I have the image of dervishes dancing around the fire and being all happy; feeling like something is smiling happily at me from the bowl; somehow there is something soothing about rubbing; in that rubbing sound it's like there's an echo in it, funny.
It has something cheerful; really strange with this sound; I'm holding my bowl with my left hand, it's as if the echo is in the left hand; as if the sound is coming from the hand.
Prover 1: That's absurd, contrary to the laws of physics! Somehow it seems familiar to me that this has happened before, at C2; as if time and space were suspended; there is the Koan in Zen: hear the clapping of one hand, well, that normally doesn't work either, with everyday consciousness you can't hear the clapping of a hand, you can only hear that from another consciousness
Prover 2: it is at one place; as if it was transmitted and you can hear it in the hand.
Prover 1: for me that also makes up this cheerfulness, for me the cheerfulness doesn't feel like a usual cheerfulness, but such a "spiritual cheerfulness"; I also know this from life in the ashram, where I also always have to laugh so much, because it is simply a cheerfulness, where everything is no longer so important and so serious, everything is no longer so fixed, it is all just a game; that's how it feels. This cheerfulness also arises from such a consciousness of security, a very deep security that everything is okay and you can play your game here on earth and that makes it so easy. I could go on like this forever now, feels really good; not hard, doesn't demand so much from you; feeling of doing something mysterious. There is also awe involved.
Prover 1: Now I feel a really pleasant relaxation. I think this is a very good remedy when strong effort or wanting takes you over. I have a little fatigue in my arm right now.
Prover 2: But I also have this, a pleasant feeling of being flooded. It starts from the bottom in the legs.
Prover 1: it's quite funny, as if the bowl is a being that can think and feel; it is singing now (laugh)as if I could have a conversation with it.
Prover 2: I have the picture of the Macchu Picchu where there is this temple and some kind of pyramid. Heat wave. It's strange, I have this feeling in my legs all the time, like a streaming that's cold, not uncomfortably cold, in the upper body heat wave, down below it's cool.
Prover 1: I clearly get the feeling and the certainty that this is something consciousness-expanding, it really feels like that, which can be absolutely helpful, not because you want to escape reality, but because in the depth it can open up a reality for you that is healing.
Prover 2: Time goes really fast when rubbing!!! You do not have such a feeling for time!
Prover 1: I would be really interested to know who has already proved Psilocybe; it is also a feeling as if matter is not important right now. I'm scratching in the bowl just now, but it feels so light and so detached at the same time.
Prover 2: a stupid association, like as if a duck is croaking all the time; we are laughing; like as if it waddles around like that, quack quack quack.
Prover 1: I do understand what you mean
Prover 2: it sounds so happy; she's walking around, so excited, happily excited, as if she wants to express something with it
Prover 1: feels the same.3.Prover 2: that quak quak quak, as if the duck was saying, whether I say quak quak quak or you say something, we understand each other; laughing; we don't need the language, but what's about a duck now ?
Prover 1: could be any bird; it doesn't matter in the end
Prover 2: association with the birds; I just have a very strong association of birds; Komoran sitting there and spreading its wings when it is drying; is not really a small bird.
Prover 1: I have the image from a film, in Mexico or Peru, high in the mountains, it was about a mother goddess, that was so high up in the mountains; the pilgrims walked up there under the most difficult conditions. I have the images of these mountains, really high up; that is so barren, wild and quiet, beautiful atmosphere.
Prover 2: Images of carnival come to me, but I'm not impressed by the carnival, I look at it, but actually I sit there as if in meditation, I' m not impressed by it, I see it, but inside I'm completely at peace. Like I can sit there like that in the middle and let it happen like that, despite all the hustle and bustle I can sit in peace.
Prover 1: that feels like you're in the middle of it all and you're not getting carried away, what masters say like that; time is racing !
Prover 2: there is a feeling, no matter where you are, you can find to your innermost peace. And just let that happen, what is there around you. I just sit there. Now the little duck is back,as if it wants to say something, and I don't understand it,the phrase comes into my head: do what you do, but with total dedication!
Prover 1: a master duck! (laughter)
Prover 2: the time just goes by too fast!
Prover 1: maybe because we are so really concentrated. I just had the memory of a book, it's about a master walking around in the mountains with his student and then they have to abseil down a rock, it's all quite dangerous; and for the student it's clear, he can actually only manage that if he has great confidence in the master and also in his own abilities. He manages that in the book, of course. And I thought at the time, that's always so beautifully written in books like this, that they can trust within 10 minutes; now during the trituaration it was like this could be done quickly, that you can just trust. It's not as complicated as we always think.
Prover 2: I have such a perfect agreement with the trituaration now, that's just right, what I'm doing now! And it feels good, too. That's exactly what I'm doing. I like doing it, too. Satisfaction in doing it, also a bit serene.
Prover 1: what more do we need.
Prover 2: the feeling of rubbing and looking into the bowl, that's the most beautiful meditation exercise! Like it's something really important too! I have the feeling that during the first trituration I did it with a drive that was almost compulsive, violent; and now I'm doing something important, I'm convinced of it, but it's relaxed; no more being driven.
Prover 1: it's exciting to witness these different states of consciousness; you're doing the same thing but with a different state, it's becoming so clear now.
Prover 2: it's so fast, really amazing! Time goes by so quickly!
Prover 1: when I added the lactose, it felt completely new, as if I had never seen it before, as if it was a completely new material. Somehow it is like that, but it's so exaggerated.
Prover 2: I have an imagination of mountains covered in snow like and a moss lawn. I see the mushroom growing on it, it is so untouched, this landscape, as if there had never been anyone. In complete unity together with the covered mountains. In unity, but also in undisturbed peace.
Prover 1: I would also be really interested to know if you can find the mushroom so easily in nature.
Prover 2: there is this beautiful picture: what are you doing with this beautiful undisturbed nature ? you are disturbing it !
Prover 1: it is a dimension where it cannot be disturbed, there is something so indestructible.
Prover 2: it's such a perfect picture.
Prover 1: I'm getting so totally tired now.5.Prover 2: There are also C4 triturations. I have the feeling that I should do that, maybe there will be more revelations.
Prover 1: I think that everything has already been shown; for my feeling we have already received very deep spiritual insights.
Prover 2: I just thought, I have time and then I could continue doing it; because I like doing it so much. ( laughs) is quite exciting.6.Prover 2: feeling, the substance is like a hug.
Prover 1: everything is so very relaxed and calm.
Prover 2: Yes, I think so too; I felt the need, when I started rubbing now, to be very careful and gentle with what's in the bowl.
Prover 1: it just feels like what we felt at the beginning of C3 is now going more into the body, like it's becoming more manifest and more conscious. It's going deeper into the matter.
Prover 2: I had the interesting thought that I should take a mushroom, maybe the Xerocombus; Feeling it's the most important thing in the world, what I'm doing now. Everything is important to me, that is just as important and valuable as someone who is doing something very valuable for humanity. Triturating is just as important right now. Actually the only thing that matters is if you do it with dedication, then it doesn't really matter what you do. Whether I am saving the world (or think I am saving the world) or triturating here.
Prover 1: exactly !
Prover 2: that's really a very deep insight that it's just as important as everything else. There is such an agreement, also an emotional agreement with this insight.
Prover 1: what a wise mushroom!!!
Prover 2: yes, that makes me very happy now ! We don't have to take it in substrate, we just have to triturate it !
Prover 2: it makes me happy because I often have the feeling that I do not enough. And now I find that is a very great insight.
Prover 1: I find that so exciting, because in the beginning it was an effort, a bit ambitious, driven from within, without knowing what was driving you, but not being able to do it any other way.
Prover 2: I'm sure that every trituration has its own special moments.
Prover 1 1: Yes, of course! But this here I think is very beneficial, sometimes it is just an experience; at best it can redeem something of yourself, I find that healing too.Debriefing:Prover 2: Initially I had the expectation that something very important would reveal itself, but now it is something so simple and profound that has revealed itself. It's such a simple wisdom.
Prover 1: if we would live according to this wisdom, many problems would take care of themselves! E.g. politically: the street sweeper, who sweeps the street, knows that this is just as important as the politician, who jets around the world and meets politicians, or the doctor, who makes an operation. If everyone had the awareness for himself that exactly what I am doing now is exactly the right thing and exactly fitting and coherent like everything else and you yourself have the feeling that you are a valuable member of society, then what problems should there be?
Prover 2: exactly, the feeling that you are just as valuable as any other person in the world!
Prover 1: that's how it is; great that it's now so clear with this mushroom! I now understand why Friedrich and Hans said that it should actually be dumped into the groundwater; I would like to learn more about this mushroom, e.g. where you can find it in nature.SUMMARY OF SYMPTOMS PSILOCYBE MEXICANAMind
Exerting oneself, pressure of expectation, driven to accomplish something, driven from within, eager, must try very hard, compulsively driven, overexerting oneself.
Everything is exhausting.
Dogged.
Unfocused, scattered thoughts.
Mindless, uncaring, uninvolved, cut off.
Sensitive to noise (2).
Doubting if I am doing it right.
Feeling unlovable; doing anything to get love and harming myself in the process, up to beatings, spanking, rape.
Demonic - something might jump out at me.
Contrast between difficult and easy.
Potion - priests - dervishes - deep knowledge.
A world with peace, understanding, tolerance, connectedness.
At peace with oneself.
Relaxed, secure, easy.
Cheerfulness, giggling, laughing(3), causeless, carnival, spiritual; cheerfulness: nothing is important and serious.
Joy without effort.
Dancing, being exuberant.
Time and space are suspended, physical laws are suspended; e.g. hearing echoes in the hand; time passes very quickly; matter is not important
Understanding without language.
Simply trusting.
Satisfied with what I do; what I do is important no matter what I do. If I do it in a sense of unity, it matters to the world; I am valuable and important as much as any other person in the world.
Being in unity and undisturbed peace; something indestructible in me.Physical symptoms:Eye burning.
Tickling in the nose.
Headache forehead; slight headache in the middle of he forehead.
Shoulder pain, extending to arm.
Itchy stitches below the left calf.
Heat wave.
Chills in the legs.